Scout

March 9th... my fourth child was born.  It was an amazing day... and I didn't expect to have him so fast.  The whole pregnancy was a physically easy experience... a true blessing in my book.  It was not an emotionally easy time... but when is life really easy??

I felt great throughout the pregnancy... no morning sickness, no major swelling or heartburn.  I exercised a lot and stayed super busy with my 3 crumbcakes and the eve-N-odd gallery.  I had planned on keeping the gallery open and bringing the baby to work with me and then near the end of the pregnancy I decided to shut the gallery down and start a home based business.  Month two at home and things seem to be going ok.

So March 8th... went to church with my crumbcakes--Tommy, Ben and Adeline.  We came home and had lunch--pressed sandwiches (we use a brick with an eye painted on it by fav artist friend--Antoine "Sleep" McDowell... covered in aluminum foil), chips and salsa outside on the patio behind our house.  I took a nice nap and then we headed to Granny and GP's house to watch a movie, eat nachos, popcorn, ice cream... Saturday night fun!  I started having contractions while watching "Gravity."  They weren't painful but were around 10-12 minutes apart.  We headed home after the movie and I went to bed.

March 9th... I woke up around 7 in the morning and still contracting.  I noticed some blood and woke up the children, "It's time!"  They were pretty frantic and I said... calm down... take your time.  You know... cause birthing babies takes some time.  I called my mom and she was on her way to pick us all up.

We got to the hospital around 8:30 in the morning and they got me to my labor and delivery room around 9 am.  The contractions were steadily getting stronger but not that bad... until the nurse broke my water.  The crumbcakes were waiting in the waiting area--waiting to be brought back to see the birth.  After an hour after my water was broke... we had baby Scout.  I remember the nurse telling my mom to go get his siblings... and I remember thinking--it's too early.

I felt a really hard contraction and an enormous amount of pressure.  He had just crowned.  The doctor had just entered the room... my feet weren't in stirrups and the bed wasn't broken down. (the end of delivery beds break down so that the doctor can be close to the action).  The children were sitting down on the couch--not really in full view of anything too personal--just watching from afar.  I remember looking into the doctor's eyes--Dr. Raphael Guichard--and saying, "help me"--cause damn, it hurt so bad... And when they lifted my gown... Scout's head was RIGHT THERE... crowned.

At 1:13 p.m.... after another push... or two... Scout George Kosharek was born!  BOOM!  Pain over!  New baby into our world!  The doctor called the children over to see him... the nurse had covered me up... and the Doctor asked Tommy to cut the cord!  Tommy stepped up and in about 3 cuts... cut the cord.  Adeline was crying.  Ben was looking on in amazement.  Another push and I birthed the placenta.  Scout looked wet--but not bloody or full of vernix caseosa.  He had a head of black hair--just like the ultrasound tech promised!  He was really purple when he was born and soon after was a sweet ruddy color.  They handed me the baby and i was like... "oh my, I'm a mom again... and this baby is BEAUTIFUL."   The whole event seems like a blur now... even the intense pain has deadened in my memories.  Mom and the cakes took turns holding my sweet baby-cake.  I took time to nurse him and he was a total natural at breastfeeding--latched on like a little hoover sucker machine.

The doctor also showed the kids the placenta and explained things about it to them... at the time I was holding Scout and not really listening.  I was so pleased that the Doctor used all these teachable moments with the kids... it made it a really special delivery.  Although every delivery is special, me thinks.

After a bit Mom switched spots with my Dad waiting in the waiting room... and he got to see his newest grandson for the first time.  He is one proud GP.  (Grandpa).  Dad the crumbcakes and I made the room switch... on to the recovery room... good bye labor and delivery!  When you get to the nursery area--there is a button on the wall... Lulu got to push it--the button makes Brahm's lullaby play--then everyone in the hospital knew that Scout was just born!

What Kind of Weather Do I Like by Crumbcake #3

What Kind of Weather Do I Like by Crumbcake #3 AGE 9 I like weather that makes daisies bloom! That makes the blue birds sing! I like weather that makes children laugh and play when the sun comes out with another friend. Can you guess who that is? The RAINBOW! I love weather when it rains and storms. All the fresh air it makes. It all comes by magic. To me it does. Do you know the other thing I like about weather? I like that it makes every thing grow! And come alive again, every time. The best thing I like about weather is that the fresh air just opens my mind and soothes my heart, makes me so relaxed and at peace. When the cool dark hour is so fierce and sometimes it seems as if the sky is crying in a familiar way that makes everything and everyone at peace and the whole world is hushed, silenced--put to sleep. As if someone has stopped the world. That is what kind of weather I like.

This morning.

So...I drop off CC#2 at his bus stop... another boy waiting there had picked a bunch of kumquats off a tree right next to the stop and had thrown them on the ground and stomped them... and was throwing them into the street for cars to run over... So I got out of my car...(cause I saw him doing it and all)... and thought this could go very badly for me. But I did it anyway--explaining to him that he shouldn't be picking someone else's fruit and making a mess out of the bus stop. (which is also a public transit stop) I told him to pick them up... and he did it. He was so ashamed and wouldn't even look at me. So when he sat down to wait for the bus--I held out my hand and said, "Hi I'm Ben's mom, Jennifer." He looked up at me--red eyes with tears and said, "My mom's name is Jennifer too." And I said, "Well Jennifers are good people."

the way things are

perception is everything.  i've been struggling ever since ted left me... he walked out the door and seems like we didn't see him again for a month.  it was so hard on the crumbcakes to have a regular full time super dad... to having nothing.  they were bitter and sad and depressed and they just couldn't understand why he left.  he eventually told them he left because mommy didn't love him anymore.  this of course was true but only partially.  he failed to tell them why i didn't love him anymore... but even though i no longer loved him--i didn't want him to leave.  i thought we would eventually work it out. 

Now that it has been over a year since he left and he sees the crumbcakes on Saturday nights and Sunday and I have full custody... I opened a gallery called the eve-N-odd gallery.  I have struggled all year to get this TINY gallery on the map.  Tried to make tons of art to sell... sold a lot of paintings and rag dolls, but not enough to earn a living. 

Last week my van was repossessed.  My house is in foreclosure.  It really looks like everything is falling apart and I seem to be unable to save it.  Although after a year of living on almost nothing... I have learned to let things go.  The house and contents must be liquidated.  To me it seems like this huge task... I think about the two bins of collage materials in my studio/dining room that will probably end up in a dumpster and it breaks my heart.  I think about my crumbcake's things... their baby toys that I saved... all the remnants that once defined us as a family.  

I struggle all the time.  I feel so depressed most of the time. I feel alone and unwanted all of the time.  I will be losing the gallery when my lease is up.  I really don't see how i can continue to work 60 hours a week at a job that I am not getting paid for.  When I look at myself--I see a failure. 

October 2011: St. Augustine

almonds and dried mango for breakfast

eve-N-odd gallery

Hi everyone! I have been neglecting this blog... as I am now blogging  HERE. I've opened a small gallery in the Crislip arcade in St. Petersburg, FL.  I am very excited about this new venture! Opening night was last Saturday and it was very successful!  I really couldn't be happier and I feel like I am fulfilling my dreams, as well as, helping sell work from other local, national and international artists.  I  have a wonderful variety of whimsical, outsider, folk, etsy, handmade, mail art and fluxus ART! I hope you stop by and see me: 645 Central Avenue #11, St. Petersburg, FL 33701

Selling my art on ebay!

I am trying something new... Selling my art on ebay.  This week I will have three hand painted purses for sale! 
LINK TO MY EBAY

I have also recently listed many hand painted card cut-outs in my etsy store... link to the right and HERE!

In Memory of...

Masoud Hashemazadeh, Amir Javadifar, Neda Agha-Solton, Sajah Ghaed Rahmati--Angels of freedom.

Last month Iran banned Valentine's Day.  I don't celebrate the day myself... but I thought it ludicrous that a government can take away a day and a choice.  This is a 30X40 inch acrylic painting on canvas.  Feel free to use the image if you like it.  Thank you.

Back to sending out mail art

I took a reprieve of mail art for about 9 months.  I am back now. 

Sketchbook Project: Arthouse Coop, Brooklyn NYC

This will be my third time participating in a sketchbook project with the Arthouse Co-op based in Brooklyn, NY.  Last year I went to the opening.  I got to check out sketchbooks from the Arthouse library.  And thus I signed up to do it all over again.  My theme this time was: Figuring You Out.  I made it about me... figuring me out.  The sketchbook is a collection of photographs taken by me mostly and enhanced or collaged in some way.  Since my husband left me 9 months ago... I have been trying to figure me out.  I am a mom.  I am an artist.  My biggest fear is being alone for the rest of my life.  Seems like dating and meeting men are something of an anomaly for me.  I feel ill equipped.  Yet, here i am.  I think I'll stick to art. 
LINK TO ARTHOUSE COOP
LINK TO MY ARTHOUSE ARTIST PAGE

Thank you everyone!

Thank you everyone who came out to the Trinkets from Heaven art show opening! 

Trinkets from Heaven and other misunderstandings...

This Saturday night will be the opening of Trinkets from Heaven and other misunderstandings which is a collection of work that I have spent the last three months making.  There will be a great variety of pieces from $5 to $1500.  There are many $10 items.  I want to make my work accessible to anyone that cares to own a piece.  I call it--Art for the Masses.  Most of it was made from recycled items or things that I already had in my studio home.  There are 237 pieces for sale! 

I hope people realize that investing in each other, in handmade, in local businesses is a really good way to keep St. Petersburg a destination art city!  

The event is free! After you stop by the Morean please walk down to the 600 Block of Central Avenue to see the other shows and galleries that will be open.  I also have work at Art On! Central and the Artpool Gallery.  Artpool will be having a big art and fashion show that night!  

So....This Saturday night...

5:30-8:30 

GALLERY WALK... 12-11-10

Morean Arts Center

719 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, FL 33701
727.822.7872

Here is a link to the featured artist page.

I would like to say a special Thank you to the Morean for inviting me to show in this gallery space.  I would also like to thank Truman Bentley Jr. for supplying me with many handmade canvases.  Local artist, Frank Strunk III, really helped me out by--not only letting me use his wood working tools, but also gave me some pointers.  Thank you Frank for your time and helping hand!  And lastly, thank you to my crumbcakes for your love and support and being my constant inspiration. 

BLACK FRIDAY

Instead of spending money on crappy made-in-china junk...
Why not come to a super cool art show where you can buy HANDMADE gifts and ART. 
Please come to the Black Friday Show! You won't be disappointed. 

And yeah, I'll have some paintings there too. 
And they are inexpensive.
Enjoy!!

trip to Myakka state park

Had a lovely day.  It was good to get out...