new cheese

The man at mazzaros... the cheese man... was quite pleased that I read the cheese descriptions. I told him that i enjoy the weekly education on a new cheese. And he said that he was quite pleased since he writes them.

I'm home alone and I'm going to enjoy this imported "Appenzeller" from Switzerland. Or at least enjoy a piece of it after lunch.

Keeping Busy

2 am

i feel so confused and lost.
i gotta make some serious changes in my life
everything is being thrust on me at once
there is no time to play around.
i feel like letting it all go
and spiral down to the bottom
i'm not far
firm ground may be
just the thing

recycled us

I was at an estate sale today where they were selling disposable underwear. And before you think that means something the least bit exciting...think again. Think of diapers for adults. Grandpa had died. I knew it from the small cross-stiched picture, "Grandfather means experienced father." And from the cookbooks... that start off in BBQing and end in the "Cooking for Diabetes." And that special bed pan sitting chair and the disposable underwear. I couldn't help feel a twinge of sadness over the box of received greeting cards and the unused car fluids that his son said he was trying to sell at one point in his life. Here I was a stranger, wandering through his home, touching his or their old things. His family was getting rid of everything for a song... and maybe his treasure can live on in a piece of my mail art or collage art.

In the end we will all be recycled... if not by worms in the soil then by strangers dollars at an estate sale and then lastly laid to rest on a burn pile or dump heap. The most we can do is to love now cause none of the stuff matters.

Sing with all your might

My middle crumbcake, crumbcake #2, B-man... sings as loud as he can at church. It is the most beautiful thing that I hear every Sabbath. His cousins and brother look at him funny and sometimes they laugh. Sometimes I laugh. To hear a person who sings with all their might can make you feel uncomfortable. It is such an honest gesture that it makes you blush or giggle with nervousness. And out of this feeling I have cracked a smile. A few weeks ago I leaned over to my father and said, "I wonder if anyone ever discouraged Bob Dylan from singing?" And Dad knew just what I meant as crumbcake #2 has a hint of Dylan in the sound of his voice. I know someone is expecting me to tell him to, "tone it down." But, I won't. No way. How long before the world tells him to conform... to quiet the enthusiasm? It's best to let him sing it loud for as long as possible. And he makes me sing my loudest too. After all we are singing to praise God... not to please men.

Spring in NY Fisheye camera