Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sometimes you just gotta do it yourself.
As I continually try and reach out in my life... often the plan backfires. Perhaps I say or do too much. I am annoying like the kid who just won't leave you alone and keeps asking prying questions. Still, I wouldn't find that kid annoying and people who "get it" wouldn't find that kid annoying. It must be me. I must be the one who "doesn't get along well with others"... but the fact of the matter is that I get along too well with others and I'm the gal calling one too many times. When I stop, when I'm no longer in your life--will you miss me? Will you regret all those times you thought I was annoying and childish? Will I ever grow up? I don't even know what that means... Perhaps I'll never be sophisticated, never be whatever a normal is person. I think I'm okay with that. Perhaps life is better lived alone. All these attempts to reach out seem pretty futile when they are ignored.