Sometimes you just gotta do it yourself.

As I continually try and reach out in my life... often the plan backfires.  Perhaps I say or do too much.  I am annoying like the kid who just won't leave you alone and keeps asking prying questions.  Still, I wouldn't find that kid annoying and people who "get it" wouldn't find that kid annoying.  It must be me.  I must be the one who "doesn't get along well with others"... but the fact of the matter is that I get along too well with others and I'm the gal calling one too many times.  When I stop, when I'm no longer in your life--will you miss me?  Will you regret all those times you thought I was annoying and childish?  Will I ever grow up?  I don't even know what that means... Perhaps I'll never be sophisticated, never be  whatever a normal is person.  I think I'm okay with that.  Perhaps life is better lived alone.  All these attempts to reach out seem pretty futile when they are ignored.